Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatuallahi wa
Barakatuh
From a story in the news this week:
"Saudi forces have killed two
suspected Islamist militants after clashes in the city of Taif, security sources say."
"Statements purportedly from
Al-Qaeda claimed responsibility for the Al-Khobar attacks and vowed to
'cleanse the
Arabian Peninsula of infidels'
(a/k/a
Americans...)."
Dear Sisters and others potentially alarmed on my behalf by
today's this week's news:
I don't know what to say...other than "don't worry" ~
but when you know someone is potentially in harms way ~ "don't worry"
can sound kind of lame... But really...we have to
trust in Allah (swt)...and of course, "Tie our camels..." (I understand this is an Egyptian saying...smile...)
So, isn't it
wonderful...subhan'Allah...that last week...not out of fear...and not out of
pressure to succumb to the "cultural" norm for the area where I find
myself living...but because I do trust Allah (swt)...subhan'Allah...today I see the
wisdom in what happened to me last week. And I promise
today to finish writing the niqab story!!
Al-hamdulillah that
I was led to making this purchase (niqab)...and the little old Saudi man that
sold the items I bought from him that day, even though we could not speak one
another's language...I knew as I walked away from his tiny little shop that day
that he was soooo happy...I felt like when I left he was making dua for
me...and I certainly pray Allah (swt) reward him for helping me to protect
myself...Ameen.
Hugs and story soon!!!
~Aishah
**************************************************
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatuallahi wa
Barakatuh.
~*Aishah's Journey Continues...The Niqab Story*~
On the day before leaving for my first
trip to Mecca, I caught the morning bus into Taif for a trip to the market. I
had been reading some material on the procedures for Umrah, and for some
reason, I guess kind of in honor of this being my first Umrah, I wanted to wear
a new abaya. I was, that day, wearing my usual outfit, black abaya and hijab.
Niqab (veil covering the face, except for the eyes, and in some cases, the veil
is designed so as to provide a thin layer of fabric that one can see through
which does cover the eyes) is not "required" in the area where
I live, although it is very common to see this addition to a woman's attire. In
some of my earlier writing, I referred to the women I saw from my apartment
window as "black blobs" wandering the hospital grounds where we live.
Isn't it funny how we perceive things sometimes that are unusual to us?
Anyway, on this particular morning as I
began to wander through the seemingly endless compilation of shops in the
market area where the bus had drops off its load of nurses (and the occasional
physician's wife...hee hee hee), I had in the back of my mind that I wanted to
"check out" niqabs. I honestly do not have any idea why this was
tickling my brain...but it definitely was. I found the familiar area that seems
dedicated to women's clothing and passed by several vendors selling abayas,
casually browsing through the selections that each had to offer. I found a very
interestingly styled abaya that had a blue denim design encircling the cuff of
each sleeve and running around the neck and down the front in the middle on
both sides. In all honestly, I would have bought it, except that the black
fabric was heavier than I was looking for at the time, considering that temperatures
in Mecca are significantly higher than those in Taif. We generally enjoy
anywhere from a 10 to 20 degree temperature difference here due to the city's
position within the mountainside. Al-hamdulillah that Allah (swt) facilitated
my husband's getting a job in this city...it's just like Him to be so merciful!
{{smile}}
Finally I found myself at a corner booth
packed tight with abayas and scarves. A man, of course, was operating the booth.
Yes, I am getting used to this...{{smile}}. The man appeared to be quite
elderly, I am guessing Saudi. I quickly also learned that he did not speak
English, and I, of course, do not speak Arabic. Language barrier aside,
however, it seemed that we quickly adapted to a communication technique that
carried us through my visit in the booth...a definite advantage to being free
to just wear hijab...the blank expression on a person's face can provide very
clear indications as to whether or not they like or dislike something. A slight
frown and short, left to right shake of my head was the negative signal for an
item presented for approval...and finally, after many a try, the raised left eyebrow,
and slight smile for the abaya-of-the-day! (LOL!!) Wow! My merchant was so
happy to find an item that pleased me! At this point, I think he decided he was
on a roll...and he presented me with a package of black socks...mmm...did
I need to purchase these as well? I really do have an ample supply at home...my
left brow raised in question and my eyes rolled upward as if in doubt, and he
just smiled and put them beside the abaya. Next thing you know...he reached
below the counter and from within a box he pulled out a package of black
gloves. I sort of chuckled a little to myself on being presented with this new
item...I thought, "Mmm...it looks like he's going for the whole
package!" (hahaha)
Well, I figured since we had gone this
far...I might as well gesture towards the hanger holding what appeared to be a
selection of niqabs. Well, wouldn't you just know...my merchant's face lit up
like a Christmas tree! Masha'Allah...it was so cute as he removed one from the
hanger it was attached to, put it in front of his face, holding the ties at the
back of his head with one hand, and lifting the front veil with the other to
reveal just his eyes...at the same time nodding his head up and down in
positive reinforcement suggesting to me that I needed this item as well!
Oh, my goodness...he looked so cute
standing there with the veil in front of his face, nodding at me...gee...what
could I do??? Well, then...there I was...one abaya, black socks, black
gloves and face veil later...bartering a little bit over the price. He made his
initial offer and I countered with the raised brow and slightly cocked head as
if to say, "Are you sure?" He made a slight price adjustment, clearly
indicating he understood my gesture, and not having the heart to try to get him
to reduce the price any further...I reached inside my pouch to retrieve my
wallet and the required number of riyals for my purchases.
While I was getting the money out of my
wallet, my vendor happily put the items being purchased into a bag, and
wouldn't you know...when I gave him the money, he returned 5 extra riyals
with the change. Wasn't that sweet? He was just so happy that morning...I
think because he felt like he had done something good in convincing me to buy
the face veil...I walked away somehow feeling like he would share the story
with someone before the day was through...and I made a mental note to make dua
for him.
You know, I have learned about this
bartering thing here...you know...haggling over the price of things at the
market...but sometimes I just don't have the heart to be too aggressive. I have
seen other people in action doing this, but in the back of my mind...I am just
somehow always keen to remember reading something about our being fair in our
business dealings...and that we should always strive to pay a fair price for
goods offered for trade at the market. By way of example...I did what I thought
was the right thing to do in not pursuing a lower price for the abaya and
accessories...and in the end, the vendor gave me back 5 extra riyals with my
change...Subhan'Allah.
On another visit to the market, I picked
up a simple housedress from a niqab-clad sister encircled by a variety of
things she was offering for sale. She was marketing her items in the middle of
the common area...outside of the protection of a roof over head and
air-conditioning blasting cool air ...instead she was enduring the heat of the
hot Arabian sun, completely clad in heat attracting black clothing...obviously
not the best way to have to spend your day...just to try to make a living. The
total of the items I chose to purchase from her that day came to 30 riyals. It
turned out that I only had 29 riyals change (other than a 200 bill that I felt
sure she probably couldn't break; and I was right...), so she shook her
head and holding up her hand, indicated to me not to worry about the extra
riyal...and then she even put a little something extra in my bag.
Subhan'Allah...
I guess the moral of that part of the
story is that if you treat people fairly...for the most part you will find that
you are treated fairly in return...I realize the whole bartering thing is a
part of the culture...but when I see someone being overly aggressive in
this...sometimes I just feel sad a little bit... I just kind of look at it this
way: Allah (swt) is the ultimate Provider - if He has seen fit to provide me
with something, i.e., income, what are we taught as Muslims? Are we taught to
horde that which has been provided to us? No. I believe we should be fair with
one another, and I believe that if we enjoin that which is right...that Allah
(swt) will reward us...and whatever we give freely of our own volition...from
our hearts...will come back to us. I am sure my husband would know some hadith
about that! He's my walking, talking encyclopedia of hadith...but he is asleep
right now! {{smile}} Anyway...I think this can also safely fall under the
category of asking oneself... "What would the Prophet (pbuh) do?"
Okay, back to the story!
The morning bus trip to the market is from
9:30 am to 12:30 pm. After praying dhuhr, my husband tries to come over to the
apartment, as time allows, for a bite to eat and to take a short rest. As it
turned out, I got home from the market just about 10 minutes before he arrived
at the apartment. I put my shopping bag in the bedroom and headed to the
bathroom to shower off the ever-present exhaust fume smell that seems to
permeate one's clothing and skin whenever you go out. (Now I have a better
understanding of why we have all those refineries in the U.S. and the
anti-pollution laws and emission controls on our vehicles!!) Just a few
minutes later I heard the ding of the front door bell followed by my
husband's familiar, cheery, "Assalamu Alaikum!" (take note
brothers of the proper adab on entering the house and greeting your
wife!...{smile}) on the other side of the bathroom door. I was wondering if
I would tell him then about the niqab, as we would sit eating lunch
together...but I wasn't yet even sure myself what I would do with my purchase,
so I decided to just think about it a while longer before breaking the news to
him.
A quick thirty minutes later, back to the
hospital my husband went, and after he was gone, I retreated to the bedroom to
retrieve the shopping bag and proceeded, one by one, to begin putting on the
items I had purchased earlier in the morning. When I got to the face veil, I
pulled open the clothes cabinet door that has a mirror affixed to the inside
and stood gazing at my reflection. From underneath the veil there was an ear-to-ear
smile, and all I could think of was, "Oh, my goodness! If they could only
see me now!" (Thinking of my friends.) Who would believe it?? I was hardly
believing it myself...that I had made this purchase...that I was standing in
front of a mirror completely clad in black, from head to toe...just like the
"black blobs" I had observed from my living room window every day
since my arrival!! And yet...oddly enough...I was not uncomfortable with the
image...and I was not uncomfortable with the idea of going out dressed in
this new outfit...in fact...I was very curious to know how I would feel once I
actually got outside. But I decided to save that experience for another day and
I proceeded to change my clothes again and put everything away.
The next morning as I packed for the trip
to Mecca and Jeddah, I included each of my newly purchased items in my
suitcase. I had learned from my reading up on how to perform Umrah, that it was
explicitly instructed that sisters were not to wear niqab but rather, simply to
wear hijab. I learned that the men were to wear something altogether different.
My husband had modeled his white (seamless), two-towel garb the night before,
after returning from his trip to the market in preparation for Umrah,
and I have to admit that I was somewhat tickled at the image...but in
retrospect...while we were performing Umrah under the blazingly hot
mid-afternoon sun...the towels came in rather handy! {{smile}}
So, it wasn't until Friday morning, in
Jeddah, as I was preparing for our day's adventure, that I made the decision to
try out the niqab. I had yet to tell my husband... He went out to find us
something to eat for breakfast and while he was gone I made myself busy getting
ready for the day and re-packing. I was dressed when he returned with
breakfast, excluding the gloves and face veil, so he didn't take any notice at
that time, as I looked "normal". We finished eating and in making
final preparations to leave, I retrieved the face veil from the bedroom and
went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. My husband was sitting in
the front living area in a chair with his back to the bathroom door, flipping
through the channels on the TV with the remote control. I called out to him,
"Are you ready to go?" He called back, "Yes!" To which I
replied, "Are you sure you're ready?" - and I came out of the
bathroom. He had risen from his chair, and I was standing very nearly right in
front of him, but for those first few moments he didn't even look directly at
me...which I found quite amusing...and then, all of a sudden...there it
was...the instantaneous shock I had anticipated!!! I thought his eyes would pop
right out of their sockets! LOL!!! All he could say was, "Aishah!"
And all he could do was stare! LOL!!! It was so cute!! And in those first few
moments, he seemed to think I was just playing...but then as we were
leaving...and I did not remove the veil, all of a sudden he asked me, "Are
you sure you want to wear that out?" To which I responded, "Yea...I
decided to take a vacation today from being American!" Well, of course, he
found this response quite amusing...LOL!!! And out the door of the hotel room
we went.
The rest of the day was very interesting.
My husband's initial entertainment with peering into my bright green eyes (that
are apparently quite dangerous...) a short time later translated into
facial expressions that seemed to reflect a sense of discomfort. I commented to
him about this...and he then explained to me that all day long while he is at
work, this is what he sees...in regards to female patients...the majority of
which veil, in addition to arriving for appointments with their husbands. This
was something that he, too, had to take some time getting accustomed to...and
even though he is now "used" to the image...seeing the same veil
covering the face of his wife, the one sitting beside him with whom he was
trying to carry on a conversation, and couldn't see her face...left him feeling
somewhat disconcerted all over again! I appreciated so much what he had to say,
because honestly, I too find it somewhat nerve-wracking to be speaking with
someone with whom you cannot identify, i.e., as in judging by their facial
expressions whether or not they are understanding what you are saying...or
perhaps even if they are paying attention at all. Then I shared with him how I
was feeling as we rode along in the early afternoon traffic.
In some of my prior experiences going out
and traveling I had found myself basically comfortable...being American and
being so fiercely independent...I was not so easily disconcerted by the gawking
stares of the male members of our species, and have, from life experience,
grown quite accustomed to not even noticing for the most part when or if
someone is staring at me. However...here...in Taif...it was another story
altogether!! My goodness! Everywhere you turn you are surrounded by men!!! Only
men drive cars, only men run shops/stores, and only men are, for the most part,
clearly visible! So here I found myself, with my ivory white complexion
(accentuated by black abaya and hijab), sorely standing out above anyone else
in a crowd...and feeling as though holes were being bore right through me at
every turn! It was exasperatingly awkward!!!
So, on that Friday morning in Jeddah, when
I jokingly told my husband I was taking a vacation from being American,
well...that's what I meant (a vacation from the gawking). {{smile}} It
seems that my "variety" is not available here...so I am somewhat of a
novelty...and if someone finds out I am actually Muslim on top of being
American...well...gosh...you can just imagine... Wallah, I have even been
slipped cell phone numbers on little pieces of paper by male vendors of the
small shops in the market, and when one asked me if I had a cell phone, I
retorted, "No, I have a husband!" (This is another argument for
allowing women to run stores catering to women, as was the case in this
instance...aarrgg!!)
Anyway, I compromised with my husband and
removed the face veil once we were seated inside what turned out to be a really
terrific restaurant for a bite to eat before the majority of the other stores
opened after Asr. (This is the norm on Friday's because it is Jummah...just like
in the U.S. {if you live in the "Bible Belt" - or South} a lot
of things open later in the morning on Sundays as this is the Christian holy
day.) While we were waiting for our meal, I explained to my husband what I had
been feeling that morning as we drove along through Jeddah.
What I had been feeling was somewhat
perplexing to me. What I had been feeling was a sense of relief. What I felt
from behind the veil was a sense of comfort and protection. Subhan'Allah. What
I realized on that day was that there was, indeed, wisdom to be found in
wearing the veil. On hearing this, my husband affirmed then his approval of my
desire to wear the veil while traveling...above everything else...he was happy
for me to feel comfortable. He is always concerned for my welfare, but never
ever tries to push me into doing anything I do not want to do. And therein lies
the beauty of what happened that weekend...it was completely of my own choosing
to purchase the veil, to take it with me on my trip, and to wear it. Subhan'Allah.
Little did I know, just a few short days
later, upon hearing the news of the shooting of the two militants in Taif,
virtually in our own back yard where we had previously felt relatively safe,
with our fenced and gated compound and security guards...I would once again see
the wisdom in choosing to wear the veil. It is truly for my protection...
The al-Qaida militants are vowing to purge
the Arabian Peninsula of the American presence...and yes...I am Muslim...which
should afford me reasonable enough protection...but if you simply judge a book
by its cover, i.e., my ivory white complexion, how would a kidnapper know I was
Muslim? I could simply be another face in the crowd (wearing just hijab)...but
a face readily identifiable as other than Saudi...and while it is true that I
am oftentimes guessed more likely to be British or Syrian, or from Turkey, I
could just as likely find myself a victim of kidnapping just for general
principles...based on the color of my skin... This is truly spooky.
I am so glad that I came to the decision
to take niqab in my travels on my own terms...that it was not out of any kind
of fear or potential danger (as described above), and that it was not out of
any other source of outside pressure. Allah (swt) in His kindness, gentleness,
and mercy, guided me to a decision that He knew was best for me. So rest
assured...when I go out...I am covered from head, eyes, fingers and toes in the
traditional Saudi garb of black abaya, socks, gloves, hijab...and yes, niqab.
I do, of course, trust in Allah (swt) -
who is also the Protector - but, I am wisely "tying my camel" as
well. {{smile}}
The initial days and months of our stay
here were truly rough...and sometimes I felt intense despair...but, as
promised, with every hardship comes ease...and I have now come into the
phase of ease...Al-hamdulillah.
I am making new friends with the nurses on
campus. My adventures with them on the bus that takes us to the market (five
days a week, twice a day) are stories yet untold...{{smile}}. Whenever I have
joined them, by the time we get there, I have found someone to
"adopt" me and thus starts a new adventure. Many of the nurses are
Phillipino...and so sweet, kind and generous...and English speaking!! Al-hamdulillah!
I could hardly believe my ears when, this
past week another wonderful event transpired as I found myself being asked by
the Personnel Director, "Would you like to have a job?" Al-hamdulillah!
I may soon even have a job! It seems that the computer/information department
is in need of a sister who can teach sisters how to use the computer! Hello! Is
that right up my alley, or what? Al-hamdulillah.
And I finally had the opportunity to
"Patricia" - the wonderful British lady who is head of the department
of nursing. Subhan'Allah...she is so sweet and wonderful...and she gave me her
cell phone number, and on the day I met her, told me not to worry about
anything...that I have a new family now...and if I ever needed anything...to
just call her. Masha'Allah...she was as kind and sincere just as the nurses had
all told me she was. And when Patricia and the head of another department also
mentioned a job to me...I said, "Well...I can't speak Arabic..." the
director of the other department pointed to Patricia and said, "She has been
the head of the nursing department for 4 years and doesn't speak Arabic
either!" Subhan'Allah. You see...that just goes to show you...sometimes
the boundaries we see in front of us are self-imposed...if we simply trust in
Allah (swt) and allow Him to clear the path for us, instead of thinking we have
to be in control all of the time ourselves...look what can happen? You can head
the department of nursing for 4 years, in an Arabic speaking country...and not
speak Arabic at all! Al-hamdulillah.
I want to thank all of you for your duas
and support...it has meant so much to me as I have along the way, shared my
journeys with you. Reading your emails filled with compassion and knowing that
we are bound by our faith fills me with inspiration...and insha'Allah we will
have a grand celebration of our sisterhood in Jannah!!
Finally, please don't worry too much...I
know we are living in treacherous times...and we are surrounded by war and
conflict across the globe. But it is my hope that by this email you are left knowing
that I am doing my best to do my part to "play it safe" - and above
all...I truly believe Allah (swt) watches over us.
Wa'Salaam Alaikum.
~Aishah
The testimony of faith is saying with
conviction,
"Ash hadu an la ilaha illa Allah wa ash hadu anna
Muhammadar Rasul Allah."
("I declare there is no god but Allah and I
declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.")
The first
part, “There is no true god but God,” means that none has
the right to
be worshipped but God alone, and that God has neither partner nor son.
This testimony
of faith is called the Shahada, a simple formula that should be said
with
conviction in order to convert to Islam.
The testimony
of faith is the most important pillar of Islam.
If
I am right, it is from Allah; if wrong, it is from me.
I
ask Allah Almighty to protect you and me from errors
and
from all that displease Him.
"Al-Hamdu-lillahi
rabbil-alameen"