Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
~*Aishah’s Journey Continues…Released
from Solitary Confinement!!*~
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatuallahi wa Barakatuh!
What a difference a day can make!
I have lived on the hospital campus three months now, and it was just
Saturday (May 22nd), (yes, this story has taken me a little longer
to transcribe), that I found out I could hitch a ride with the nurses on the
hospital sponsored bus that would rescue me from solitary confinement and take
me out into the city! With a short relay
of telephone calls between the Personnel Director, Housing Administrator, and
one of the female housing supervisors, it was aptly made clear that I was to be
allowed to travel at will on the hospital bus.
Al-hamdulillah!!
I nervously prepared myself for my first adventure outside of the
company of my husband, not knowing a single soul. Subhan’Allah, as I was coming off the stairs onto the main level
of my apartment building, I rounded the corner to head down the sidewalk
towards the parking lot, and in doing so, I passed by a niqab-clad sister who
softly called out, “Aishah?”
Well…hello…mmm…last time I checked…that was my name! LOL!!!
So I stopped mid-stride and replied, “Yes?” (A voice speaking to me in English that was
not my husband’s! Subhan’Allah!!!)
Apparently the female housing supervisor on the receiving end of
notification that I would be traveling with the nurses had mentioned to another
sister, Fadwa (don’t look now! I
remembered someone’s name!), that I would be joining the group that
afternoon. Fadwa happened to be making
a walk over to the housing administration office on business, which happens to
be on the main level of the apartment building that I live in. When she finished, noting that it was
approaching the time for the nurses to start gathering in anticipation of the
bus’s arrival, she took a chance and waited outside thinking I would be coming
along. Wow…what a welcome relief
to be walking over to catch the bus with someone and not just showing up
like an imposter…which, for all intents and purposes I was, as technically the
service is supposed to be only for the nurses…and I am, of course, not a
nurse…I am an imposter of the worse kind!
A doctor’s wife! LOL!!
All kidding aside…the sisters didn’t treat me like an imposter at
all. Subhan’Allah. As I followed Fadwa into the office at the
nurses apartment building, one by one curious onlookers and other sisters
gathering to wait for the bus, filled the room, during which time we played the
now customary guessing game “Where are you from?”
The number 1 opinion seems to be that I am British…(interesting,
with my South Carolina, although somewhat diluted from three years in D.C.,
southern drawl…or ‘accent’); No. 2 choice, Syria; No. 3 choice, Turkey. Well whaddya know…she’s American! For real? No! Get out! Are you American? Really? LOL!!
And ironically enough…the next most popular question is, “What
are you doing HERE?” LOL!!! Followed by, “Who is your husband?” “Dr. Mustafa.” “Dr. Mustafa? What department is he in?” “Endocrinology.” “Oh! The new one! Masha’Allah…” Masha’Allah? Yes,
it would seem that the popular opinion amongst the nurses is that my husband,
the tall one (as described by the gesture of an arm flying up into the air),
with the nice face (further described by a hand making a circular motion of
one’s face with an extended index finger, smile and raised eyebrow, LOL),
is quite the catch! Gee…I was
wondering why it seemed as though his head had gotten bigger recently…{I’m
only kidding!!!}
Well, before the bus arrived a search for the passenger list
ensued. This comically reminded me of a
story that my husband told me about on the day that he went into a meeting room
over at the hospital to wait with the other physicians for checks to be distributed
(this being his first time to receive a paycheck since arriving).
When the one holding the checks entered the room and walked behind
a table positioned at the front of the room, what my husband described pretty
much as a flock of white coats…somehow resembling a herd of sheep…immediately turned
into a stampede rushing to the front of the room! My husband and a small handful of other, more patient physicians
remained seated. What happened after
that, as depicted by my husband, was nothing short of utter chaos.
It seems that the day before payday each physician (let me say in
advance…no, this does not make sense in the least…) is supposed to
appear in an administrative office to add their name to a list of physicians
expecting to receive a check. Well…gee…mmm…I
am at a loss for words…I mean…what is the point here? Duh!!
After a full month…should it not be obvious that these physicians
would be anticipating payment for services rendered?
Moving right along. The
list is supposed to be used on the day checks are distributed to assist the
person holding the checks in getting them passed out. Okay, forgive another “duh” here…I mean…like…alphabetizing the
checks and simply calling them out one by one from the name on the envelope
could not have fulfilled the same purpose?
Well whaddya know…on payday…no list was to be found. (No need to be surprised…apparently this is
typical…)…so…what to do? Duh…make
another list! (As my husband weaves
trough this tale I am dying a slow and painful death as the absurdity of what I
am hearing is occurring amongst a room filled with highly educated physicians
is simply unfathomable...)
Make another list. Oh, my
goodness…and in the meantime…the clock is ticking, the adhan for the
next salat is about to sound, and these are busy doctors!!! Further chaos assumes its posture in the
room as each of the doctor’s scramble for the piece of paper to add their names
to the new list. Unbelievable, I say…simply
unbelievable.
Before it was all said and done, as my husband remained quietly
observing the scene before him…no less than three flat out brawls almost
occurred before the list of names could be completed and the checks were all
distributed…with kindergarten arguments ensuing like, “I was here first!” and
“Stop pushing!!” Astaghferullah…
So lets see
what happens with the missing passenger list of nurses anticipating their
shopping trip…
On the Saturday afternoon whereupon I found myself waiting in the
administrative office of the nurses apartment building, when I heard Fadwa
speaking into the receiver of a phone acknowledging that the bus passenger list
was no where to be found…I’m sorry…but I just had to laugh out loud! Four, maybe five phone calls later…we began
the process of handwriting out a new passenger list. And when the bus arrived…in this case…what appeared before
my eyes as I sat cross-legged on a nice grassy spot by the curb…was a stampede
of black-abaya clad women scrambling to get through the narrow doorway of the
bus to claim a seat. My
friends…sometimes…as they say back home…truth is stranger than fiction!
As it happened…my reward for waiting patiently to get on the bus
was that I stood on the bottom step clutching a metal hand rail affixed to the
door…my stance altered only as my left arm flailed out to grab any form of
existing reinforcement to support myself as the driver of the bus wildly
navigated left turns. Whew! Was I glad to reach our final
destination! LOL!!
As the bus finally came to an abrupt stop…hee hee hee…I was the
first one off!!! I found myself
standing there…well…sort of perplexed as to what I should do next. I didn’t come, like many of the other
sisters/nurses, with other friends, and I had never been in the area where I
suddenly found myself standing, but Al-hamdulillah, Allah (swt) seemed to put
it in the hearts of two of the nurses to
“adopt” me! Gosh…I’m somehow
feeling like a stray kitten…LOL!!!
“Sister Aishah, where are you going today?” My reply:
“I have nooooooo idea!”
LOL!! And into the shopping area
we dove – head on! {{smile}} After about an hour of plundering around
with my very efficient and most humble guides, I learned that it seemed my
newfound friends would be excusing themselves, as they had made prior
arrangements to meet some other nurse/friends from another nearby hospital for
a visit. Mmm…I was finding
myself on my own now…what to do?
Well, the hour I had spent with my two guardians had served useful
as I tried to pay attention to my surroundings and to follow their lead. So, being the adventurous spirit that I am,
I embraced the time to wander through the row upon row of shops exploring.
The shopping area that I found myself in is somewhat
self-contained and very well lit, and if you stay within its confines, you can
feel relatively secure (considering), so I enjoyed my time and even managed a
couple of purchases, despite the fact that I am not yet speaking Arabic! In one shop where I decided to purchase an
Egyptian white cotton nightgown, I did, however, encounter a sales person who
seemed somewhat enamored with me!
Before I could leave the shop, while standing at the counter to pay for
my gown, I was surprised to find a piece of paper being slid across the
countertop with the words written on it, “My name is Mohammad” together with a
mobile phone number! (This happened
pre-niqab.) This incident further
underscores my previously expressed sentiment that women should be allowed to
sell items in stores catering to women’s needs. In retrospect, I wish I had had the presence of mind to say, “I
already have a Mohammad, thank you,” instead of merely holding up my left hand
to display the wedding rings worn on my third finger. Coincidentally, did you know that my husband’s name, “Mustafa”
could also be translated to mean “Mohammad”?
And of course we all know that Aishah was one of the Prophet’s sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam wives…I
found this quite interesting by way of trivia as my husband and I began to
learn more about one another after we first met…we have so much in common!!
A short time later I ended up finding my way back to the area
where the bus dropped us off. There is
a large sitting area there, and I was feeling somewhat tired, so I wanted to
take a rest. I sat down on the end of a
bench on which a lone woman sat at the opposite end, quietly eating a
sandwich. As fate would have it…we
began a conversation that led to another wonderful new friendship! I quickly learned that Zenia, my new
Philippine friend and nurse, and I happen to be the same age, both of us are
born in January, and we both have daughters (she – 1, me – 2) in the same age
range. Bizarre or what? LOL!!!
It did not take us long to decide that it was destiny that we found one
another!
There was still about an hour-and-a-half of shopping time left
before the bus returned to take us back to what is affectionately known as (and
believe it or not, there is actually an anthem the nurses sing on the way back
to further acknowledge this…) the prison.
LOL!! So Zenia and I decided to
take another walk around to see what else there was to see on that comfortably
cool Saturday evening.
I was reveling in how wonderful it was to be outside of my
apartment! Zenia and I made our way
around the shops, stopping here and there until we came upon a dress shop that
I decided to step into. As the vendor
proceeded to try finding things to my liking (as gauged by the negative and
positive affirmations displayed on my face; sometimes NOT wearing niqab also
has its benefits!), Zenia stepped into the price haggling role. What fun!
LOL!! Suddenly I spotted a dress
that appealed to me immensely and when I turned to look at her, with a sparkle
in my eyes as I held out the bottom portion to display the fabric, Zenia looked
at me and said, “I know…you’re the princess!” I could not believe my ears…hee hee hee…this has been a phrase
commonly used to characterize me, in a jovial sort of way, among close
friends…and it delighted me that my new friend had made this discovery! I said in my best little girl voice, “How
did you know??” LOL!! “I am the princess!” I exclaimed! LOL!! We left the store
in a fit of (albeit hushed, of course) giggles…sufficiently
price-haggled-dress in hand. {{smile}}
The bus is scheduled to return at 9:30 pm, and considering the
lateness of the hour, Zenia and I headed back to the drop-off/pick-up
area. It is absolutely amazing how, on
arrival, the bus seems so full…and then when it comes to pick us up, and you
sit back and watch those same sisters/nurses re-board the bus with all those
bags and boxes…you have to wonder how it moves forward even an inch!
You name it and I saw it get loaded onto that bus! Groceries, bedspreads, printers, tv’s,
artificial plants and flowers, just everything! In fact, one sister even bought a compact
washing machine! LOL!! No, this didn’t make it onto the bus, but I
did learn that if you have purchased an oversized item that the bus driver
would flag down one of those mini-Suzuki two-seater trucks (a/ka “debab”), to
follow the bus back to the hospital complex!
I thought that was kind of nice.
Al-hamdulillah.
I was most fortunate on the return trip home that evening as my
companion bull-dozed her way ahead of me through the stampede of abayas
boarding the bus and quickly snagged two seats at the front, motioning from the
window for me to come on and find my seat beside her. I waited just a few more minutes for the avalanche to squeeze its
way thorough the bus door, watching with amusement as bags were passed through
the bus windows, and then found my seat beside Zenia.
As the bus rambled nearer to the hospital grounds, the cheery
chatter suddenly turned into melody as the prison song was launched by the most
boisterous voice in the crowd (no, not me!!
LOL!!), and after the first round the song leader announced that it
was incumbent upon me to learn the song if I was going to continue traveling
amongst them! LOL!! I made a feeble attempt to follow along…lol…there
will be other trips! hahaha
As the bus passed through the gate to the housing section, one of
the sisters called out in Arabic to the driver so that he would stop to let me
out. As I stood to depart, a chorus of
“MaSalama's” rang out from the voices and beautiful smiling faces surrounding
me…and suddenly, with the rush of an overwhelming sense of warmth coursing
through my veins, for the first time since I had arrived in the Kingdom almost
three months earlier…I felt I was at home.
Epilogue:
As I reflect
on some of my experiences since embracing Islam in 2002, one of the things that
stands out time and time again is the sometimes-complete lack of respect we
have for one another, not only as human beings, but also more importantly as
Muslims.
As depicted
in this story through the incident of the distribution of paychecks and the
rush of nurses to board a bus, what do we see?
What we see, from an outsider’s perspective…is a complete lack of
civility…and then we, as Muslim’s, wonder how, and why it is that the rest of
the world sees us through such harsh eyes…
Think about it!
From as early as pre-school age children in American schools (and
I am sure in other localities across the globe), are taught fall into line,
to raise their hands to speak, to seek permission from their teacher, to
quietly respect the space of their peers and elders, in turn, hopefully,
teaching them to respect themselves.
So what happens as we evolve into adults?
How and why is it that manners seem so readily cast to the wind
thus allowing chaos to prevail in situations where it is so unnecessary?
What kind of representation are we making about ourselves, as
Muslims, to the rest of the curiously on-looking world?
Do you realize how difficult we make it on ourselves to make dawah
when we demonstrate such little respect for one another?
This is a contributing factor to the self-defeat of Muslims in
their attempts to persuade unbelievers of the truth. Yes, Allah subhanahu
wa ta`âla guides those whom will be guided…but Islam, the Qu’ran and
Sunnah set out for us in a multitude of ways how we should conduct
ourselves.
If we strive more diligently to practice our religion instead of just
giving lip service to it…the battle for respect and understanding by the Muslim
community would be facilitated to us with ease…
We oftentimes ask Allah subhanahu wa ta`âla, “Why, why, why???” When things don’t go our way.
The answer is easy…Allah subhanahu wa ta`âla is simply waiting for us to fulfill our
obligations…and yet we still persist in having to learn the hard way…and we
continue to experience trials and hardships…this isn’t the way it was meant to
be…Islam, by design, facilitates a life of ease…it is we, ourselves, who
make it difficult.
I implore each of you…teach your children the principles and
practices of Islam in order to ensure a brighter future for the Muslim
community in the days come.
And consider setting a stronger example by raising the bar for
yourself as you strive to improve your own practice of Islam…our children are
watching us…as is the rest of the world; as is Allah subhanahu wa ta`âla.
Hadith on Manners:
It was recorded by Abu Dawud with a
Sahih chain that the Prophet sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam said:
"There is nothing heavier
on the Scale than good manners."
It was recorded by Abu Dawud and
Al-Hakim with a Sahih chain that the Prophet sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam
said:
"Indeed, through good
manners does a person reach the levels of the one who stands at night (to pray)
and the one who fasts during the day."
It was recorded by Ahmad with a
Sahih chain that the Prophet sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam said:
"Good manners and being
good to neighbors - both of these bring life to homes and cause one's life span
to be prolonged."
It was recorded by Abu Dawud with a
Hasan chain that the Prophet sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam said:
"I am the guarantor of a house in the highest part of
Paradise for the one who has good manners."
It was recorded by Al-Hakim with a
Hasan chain that the Prophet sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam said:
"The most virtuous of the
believers are the best of them in manners."
Lest we forget that while we
may do our best to chose the company we keep...the company we keep may
sometimes be from amongst those who are unbelievers waiting in the wings
to be guided to Islam, unto whom we have two options regarding the impression
we leave...either positive or negative.
Which Islam do you want them
to know???
La'Hawla wa la quwwata
illa'billa'h
(There is no power, nor
strength save in Allah)
The testimony of faith is saying with
conviction,
"Ash hadu an la ilaha illa Allah wa ash hadu anna Muhammadar Rasul Allah."
("I
declare there is no god but Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger
of Allah.")
The first
part, “There is no true god but God,” means that none has
the right to
be worshipped but God alone, and that God has neither partner nor son.
This testimony
of faith is called the Shahada, a simple formula that should be said
with
conviction in order to convert to Islam.
The testimony
of faith is the most important pillar of Islam.
If
I am right, it is from Allah; if wrong, it is from me.
I
ask Allah Almighty to protect you and me from errors
and
from all that displease Him.
"Al-Hamdu-lillahi
rabbil-alameen"
SISTER AISHAH'S ISLAMIC JOURNEY