Bismillah
ir-Rahman ir-Rahim
~*Aishah's Journey
Continues…Preparing for Hajj*~
Assalamu Alaikum wa
Rahmatuallahi wa Barakatuhu,
I found a Hajj story
today that just touched my heart so that I wanted to share it with you.
Ma'Salaama. 
=====================
My Hajj Experience - Helping
others
During my first hajj trip, I wanted so much to get things right.
I read all the fiqh books I could get my hands on. I studied in detail
everything relevant to hajj.
And I made flow charts, I memorized the charts, I got my friends
to test my knowledge, I asked everyone who had already been to hajj to remember
their hajj in detail, this was it, the great fard, and I would get everything
done properly, and I would then become as sinless as an angel. :)
But I found annoying occurrences, people realizing I was a
medic, began to ask questions relevant and irrelevant, I hadn't a moment alone,
and I wanted so much to finish reading the whole Qu'ran in the days I would be
there in Mina.
Some of them really wanted and needed advice, but some just
found it a good chance to ask silly questions, after two days I was beginning
to feel as though I was in a busy twenty four hour clinic, the only time I had
was when I prayed. My temper erupted, I left the tent in a huff, and went out,
I sat on a stone under a lamp post and read, but something of the glitter of
hajj had suddenly disappeared.
I had grown angry, I had shown that woman who asked that
ridiculous question that I had found her question annoying and probably hurt
her feelings, and I couldn't get back that magical feeling of being in Mina,
doing hajj.
Arafah brought with it consolation, and I gave up totally any
attempt to read Qu'ran. 'if you cant beat them join them' that's what I did, I
sat with the group, and I became part of the group, but only when they said
something religious. Other times, I just wandered alone.
My first hajj, I felt it was a failure. God had said no
arguments, no angry speech, no bad actions, and I felt my irritation with that
woman had lost me my hajj.
my second hajj was different. when we stepped into the tent, I
was accosted by the wife of a colleague, she came up to me and said, help me
get the old people comfortable, then we can get everyone else comfy, then we'll
find somewhere to sleep for ourselves.
I followed her lead. She was an incredible woman, and I still
make duaa for her to this day. She was two months pregnant, had two small
children who couldn't go to the toilet alone, and a mother in law who was not
only rather bossy, but couldn't do anything by herself either, she had bad
knees, and could barely walk.
And quiet H, had all these burdens but she found the time to go
search for the cafeteria outside our tent, and come back with paper cups for
everyone steaming with hot tea and coffee.
One night she found me quietly leaving the tent with my Qu'ran
to read outside and not disturb anyone, she came out and told me, she had a bit
of bleeding, would I give her something? would the baby be OK? She had worn
herself out helping others. I really gave her a scold, but she answered.
"I do not think I could ever be as religious as all the others here in the
tent, so I will serve them and
maybe by helping everyone and caring for my children and mother
in law, God will accept my hajj."
From that day we kept a sharp eye on her, if she found a child
sitting listlessly, she would go out, and ask her husband to search for toys or
something, then seeing them playing happily she would look about, ask if anyone
wanted something? coffee? tea? water? biscuits, and we all raced to get her to
sit and do whatever it was she was about to do to help others.
By the end of my hajj, I did not tuck myself under the blanket
and sleep but waited and made sure everyone was tucked in, the old people had
all they wanted, then I would go out.
Night was not for sleeping, it was for reading Qu'ran and
praying, and I had learned what the day was for, it was for helping others.
salam alaykum
=====================
My Reply:
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatuallahi, Whew! I had been sitting here for over an hour copying and pasting hajj material for reading and studying in anticipation of hajj, and I one of the items I was looking at (from this website) was from the Reflections section. I didn't even read the article...(copied and pasted it)...lol...but just the title brought tears to my eyes...I mean, uncontrollably running down my cheeks like a rushing river...the title of the article was, "Chanting Labbaik... What a Pleasure!" Suddenly my inability to speak Arabic overwhelmed me with utter sadness at the void that I felt I would not be able to fill in my hajj...(I am an American Muslim of almost three years - April 19, 2002 - Currently living in Saudi Arabia). But when I read your post...subhan'Allah...I was filled with relief...because the kind of person you described as "H" - well...she's my sister...I mean...in spirit...masha'Allah...and ironically enough...my husband is a physician! I am so thankful that you shared your story...it gave me a reassurance that my hajj will be just fine, insha'Allah, even with all of my shortcomings... Jazakallahu khayran (again). Fi Aman'Allah~Aishah