Before
anyone gets all excited and pre-judgmental...wanting to jump ahead shouting,
"Muslim's don't celebrate anniversaries!" - please read the story first.
Insha'Allah.]
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
~*Aishah's
Journey Continues...An Anniversary*~
Assalamu Alaikum wa
Rahmatuallahi wa Barakatuh.
It is 1:30 am the
morning of June 9, 2004...I know...I should be sleeping...but I made the mistake
of drinking some hot tea a little while ago, and hot tea does not put me to
sleep! {{smile}} So...with a brain full of reminiscent thoughts...I have found
myself once again at my friendly keyboard.
You know, once upon
a time, I had a book of poetry. It was filled with writings that began when I
was just in the 5th grade in school and continued through my time at
University. Along the way the book became misplaced...but subhan'Allah...it
became something of a connection between myself and my, at the time 13-year old
daughter (the one who is now 22...), as she sort of adopted the book upon
discovering it...and I remember she used to re-write the poems in the pages of
her school notebooks...and she had even memorized some of them...(just like her
mom...smile...) I would think about this sometime and wonder...even though she
never said it...if she thought to herself when she read the poems from my book,
"Wow...my mom felt that way?" or "Wow...how did she know
how I was feeling?" {{smile}} Because, my daughter, there was a time,
once upon a time...when I was 13, too. I think the book formed an unspoken bond
between mother and daughter...and I am sure that much the same as I ...she also
remembers some of those poems to this day.
Anyway...gee...I
wandered...lol...what triggered this little trip down memory lane was that I
said above, "I have found myself once again at my friendly keyboard."
In the very front of the book of poems I wrote the only poem that was not my
own...it was a short little poem...but said exactly what I wanted for the
opening of the book...
"When words are
inadequate
or sometimes
fail,
I resort to the
pen and empty page
as my podium to
the world...
capturing time
and the essence
of the moment."
(author unknown)
So let me tell you
about how my day began on June 8, 2004.
I was awakened from
what must have been a deep sleep by the ringing of the telephone. You know how
sometimes you can be sleeping so hard, that when you hear something that is
real, it takes a minute or so to figure out that it really is real and not just
a dream? Well, that's how hard I was sleeping! Subhan'Allah! After realizing
that the phone was really ringing, suddenly I was scrambling to pick it
up off my nightstand where I had left it in anticipation of the incoming call
when I went to sleep earlier in the evening.
You see...my
daughter, Ashley, my grandson, Landen (the Ramadan/EID baby, remember?), and K.C., the baby's other grandmother (smile),
all happen to be on vacation back home in Washington, D.C. This whole trip is
somewhat of a miracle in and of itself. My daughter is not Muslim (I am the
only Muslim in my family), but she had the opportunity to meet a few of my
Muslim friends about a year or so ago. There was a Muslim convention in town,
and Ashley joined me in volunteer activities and made herself right at home
with some of the Muslim teen girls. Subhan'Allah. Anyhow, a key figure in my
daughter's vacation happens to be one of the Muslim friends she met previously;
some of you may have read about him before in my Shahada
story...yep...the cab driver! {{smile}} The one who used to say,
"You don't understand me!" - which triggered my intrigue into his
religion...and the subsequent three month journey that sent me deep into the
internet searching for, printing, reading and yellow-highlighting whatever I
could find about Islam...which ultimately brought me to April 19, 2002 the date
of my Shahada. Well, my dear friend met Ashley, she immediately became an
adopted member of his family. And to this day, he has maintained that family
relationship with her. Subhan'Allah. Even at times when I have been otherwise
unable...if she called him and was in need of something...he has provided for
her need...may Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala (May Allah
be Glorified and Exalted) reward him
most generously as he has been most generous with his adopted daughter. And
when Ashley recently called him lamenting that she was in need of a
vacation...subhan'Allah...this wonderful Muslim brother and friend, paid for
the train tickets and motel room, and has, since his three charges have arrived
in the city, taken care of them with transportation for their site-seeing and
making sure they had proper meals. Al-hamdulillah. What a blessing to have such
a wonderful friend...I will never be able to forget what he has done for my
daughter and grandson.
But one of the most
memorable events of my daughter's vacation, for me, all the way here in Saudi
Arabia, was the telephone call I received in the wee morning hours of the day
of my first wedding anniversary. The call was coming from the home of another
dear, dear friend from Morocco (who also happens to be a cab
driver!)...who...upon hearing that my daughter was arriving in the city for her
vacation, also wanted to meet her, and be a part of making sure her trip was
easy and wonderful. Subhan'Allah, his roommate also had immediate family members
visiting from Morocco who offered to cook a wonderful meal to which Ashley,
Landen, and K.C. were invited. But that's not all...I also was able to
participate in coordinating the invitations (I just love the internet!!!) of
other members to the guest list, including my adopted daughter, Hanane, her
husband, Mohammad, my dear, dear friend, Sakinah, Sakinah's daughter, Heather,
and her son Jibriel (just three months older than Landen), and Heather's
husband Hachim. Al-hamdulillah.
And that is how it
came to pass that in the wee hours of June 8, I received a phone call from
Washington, DC (at 4:30 in the morning!), from a home filled with my most
immediate and dear family and friends...all gathered together...passing the
phone from one person to the other...and leaving me crying and wishing I was there...subhan'Allah.
What a wonderful, amazing blessing this gathering was...and how perfect and
miraculous that my daughter and her son were, in my absence, in the warm,
wonderful care of all my Muslim family and friends...Allah Akbar!
As I lay on the small
sofa savoring the memory of that telephone conversation with tears quietly
streaming from my eyes...I so felt Allah's Subhana wa
Ta'ala presence in my life... I can't
imagine having received a greater gift than the gift of love and compassion
from my family and friends.
Allah's Subhana wa
Ta'ala presence in my life is so unmistakable...on
the first of March I most unexpectedly went to work and without planning or
even discussing it with my anyone...I made the decision to resign from my
job...and the very next day, after waiting months and months, the Saudi
Embassy called to say the airline tickets for Saudi Arabia were available and that
my Visa would be given to me at the Embassy. Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala knew how I had been internally
struggling about my love for my work, and my decision as to whether or not I
would, in the end, travel to Saudi Arabia. Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala gave me the opportunity to
test the waters...and at the same time test me...and when I let go and decided
to give Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala my
trust...the door burst wide open...and the long awaited airline tickets were
made available. Subhan'allah.
Then, exactly
one year from the date that I started the Sisters4Dawah e-group, I was in Mecca for my first Umrah.
And exactly one
year from the date that I had married, my daughter and adopted extended
family members...were all gathered together in the same home...sharing a
wonderful meal and companionship with one another...and I got to be a part of
it through their phone call. Al-hamdulillah.
The past few months
have been really something...the first two months here in KSA being so very
emotionally exhausting...but Al-hamdulillah, I am finding myself coming out of
the darkness...and seeing with my eyes wide open...that Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala truly does know my heart...and Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala really does answer our duas.
My heart is so full
right now. This past week has been filled with blessings, but at the same time,
Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala has kept me busy.
{{smile}} Unfortunately, the work laid upon me by my Creator has come to me
through emails and conversations received from Sisters going through such
trauma in their lives so as to make them feel despondent and alone. Sometimes I
sit in front of this computer monitor and keyboard, reading what comes to me,
and all I can do is beg Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala to help me say the right things...because I know it is not within
my own abilities to be knowledgeable enough to provide scholarly answers to
these emails...but what I draw from is my own experiences...and sometimes when
I read an email I find myself thinking..."How did this email find
me??" And I have to laugh a little bit...because I know how it found
me...Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala knows...and
it is Allah that allowed me to experience the things in my life that give me
the compassion to know what so many of the sisters that write to me are
experiencing...and then it is Allah that guides me into writing, hopefully,
just the right thing to say...even if my reply isn't filled with scholarly
recitations...what I try to offer, and what I hope comes through in the end, is
a reminder of the hope that is ours in Islam; A reminder of the beauty and love
and peace to be found when we have a sincere intention to practice our religion
to the best of our abilities.
You don't have to
be a scholar to practice your religion. Just do your best...and Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala will Guide you...Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala will deliver you from your
hardships, and as promised...after each hardship comes ease. This is really
true. It doesn't always happen in the timing that we would like...but Allah's Subhana wa
Ta'ala Wisdom in knowing the right time has
shown itself to me...to be the best timing. Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala is always waiting for us...how sad, in
a way...that this waiting has to take place...how sad that we procrastinate so
much sometimes in making Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala be a part of our lives...simply because we insist on trying to
maintain a sense of control that we ought to know is impossible...we don't
control anything. Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala waits Patiently though...and I am so thankful for Allah's Subhana wa
Ta'ala Mercy...because when we let go
and stop being so stubborn...and we trust Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala and we begin to practice
sincere Faith...well...what I have learned is that Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala does all the rest...and this is
when I am able to see the blessings...and this is what I want for each reader
who is struggling with their faith, each reader who is struggling with their
financial situations, each reader who is struggling with their marital
relations (or lack thereof), each reader who is struggling with employment
issues, each reader who is struggling to wake up in the morning for fajr, each reader
who is struggling to stay on the straight path...to be able to see the
blessings Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala provides to
us each day that we are given to live this life...and to embrace the hope for
the beauty promised to us in the life believers will have
in Jannah.
Thanks, Allah Subhana wa
Ta'ala...for a wonderful anniversary.
Wa'Salaam Alaikum,
The testimony of faith is saying with
conviction,
"Ash hadu an la ilaha illa Allah wa ash hadu anna
Muhammadar Rasul Allah."
("I declare there is no god but Allah and I
declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.")
The first
part, “There is no true god but God,” means that none has
the right to
be worshipped but God alone, and that God has neither partner nor son.
This testimony
of faith is called the Shahada, a simple formula that should be said
with
conviction in order to convert to Islam.
The testimony
of faith is the most important pillar of Islam.
If
I am right, it is from Allah; if wrong, it is from me.
I
ask Allah Almighty to protect you and me from errors
and
from all that displease Him.
"Al-Hamdu-lillahi
rabbil-alameen